You, are the sun 

Shined and 

Polished, thought out and 

Distinct- aware of everything and nothing at the same 

Time will stand 

Still until you are ready to make the next 

Move, 

You make moving 

To the next task ciffidult – I stare, at old pictures 

For half hour blocks, stopping only to sip 

Water, then I go back, replaying all of our conversations 

Our goals and how 

You make it, my heart, jump each time you come back 

From long breaks- smiles emerge from rubble, 

Dirt and concrete- 

You make it hard, effortlessly, as if you 

Controller in hand and I wired 

As I stay up 

No coffee- I ache to see more of you 

Consistently, as if you were 

mine 

You make it hard for others to gain my interest 

Eyes still, but future remains unpainted, because it 

Will just lead to headaches and thinking about 

You make it hard for me in many ways, 

But some of them I laugh and brush them off- 

Holding myself accountable in the long run 

And short walk 

You make it hard for me to push you away, 

Instead I want to hold you even more, 

Tight squeezes and having your scent imbedded in me 

I want all of you 

Instead I make due with what you 

Want to give 

You make it hard for me to love 

Like I want 

Like I’m capable of 

Like I thought you wanted from me 

Bitter I once was – filled with uncertainty – questioning 

The moves 

The scenes 

Retracing, 

Even though I don’t make mistakes when it comes to 

Giving my all 

Because I give all of it 

You make it hard for me to love you 

Like you almost want me to give up 

When it should be the easiest thing to do 

Give up I won’t 

Because when you do give 

The power is immense…. Intense and invigorating 

Everlasting and leaving me with jaw obtuse